On Influencing

What is influence? Why do we try to do it? To what ends? And how?

The topic of influencing, lobbying and advocacy is ever-present in society and in our work.

Individually and collectively, we all seek to change hearts, minds and behaviours all the time. We seek to make the world a better place; happier, healthier, more productive, greener, cleaner, more active, fairer. All of this requires us to influence people, policy and practice.

The pandemic is an obvious current case study in influence. A scroll of our social media feeds on any day offers a bombardment of views, perspectives all seeking to influence and engage others on the impossible balancing act of crisis response, long term population health and wellbeing, education, the economy and jobs.

People and leaders from every sector, agenda and place have sought to influence each other and those in positions of real or perceived power; all with slightly different individual, organisational, sector or societal priorities in mind. And at a time with high levels of fear and a widespread scarcity mindset. All a natural and appropriate response to threat.

There are no right or wrong answers and emergent evidence and data, and yet there are so many binary and opposing perspectives. And whilst the pandemic is a microcosm of influencing at play, it offers some good insights into our wider understanding of how to change hearts, minds, policy and practice.

There are many agendas and outcomes that we can hold in mind as we think about influencing. For example, in my professional life, some examples of the things I need to influence include;

1. How people see and understand ‘how moving matters to them and their work’, as we seek to grow a whole system approach to tackle the challenge of inactivity from the ground up.
2. Ensuring that Keeping GM Moving is high up on the agenda during the challenging period of the pandemic.
3. GM and Government policy on health, economy, transport, physical activity, sport and much more; to grow a national whole system approach that creates the conditions for change at the local and neighbourhood level.
4. Leadership approaches and behaviours of those I work with; directly and indirectly; to better support 1, 2 and 3.

Are we any good at it?

I’ve been part of, and experienced many, many ways that we try to influence; as leaders and as humans.

I’ve noticed some patterns in what seems to work, what feels aligned to shared values, culture and behaviours.

I’ve also noticed and been part of some approaches that haven’t feel right. I can feel frustrated, angry and worn down by some of the cultural norms around influencing; particularly when the unintended consequence is to hold the problem of inactivity and inequality even more firmly in place.

I have been reflecting on these questions, and my experiences. Some of brilliant people building relationships, trust and growing their sphere of influence, and also some that have been less successful at best, and damaging, at worst.

Dale Carnegie’s work popped into my head, so I picked up this fairly old book to see how it translates in a societal context, and whether it has some principles to help me think about it.

Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” has some decent basic principles in it.

I have never liked the title. It feels very transactional, and in our work ‘winning friends’ doesn’t seem like the most important outcome. It’s also pretty dated, a bit cringey in places, and there are definitely some parts of it that I wouldn’t subscribe to. But it’s not a bad place to start a conversation about influence.

It’s worth considering a few key questions before we decide to try to influence something, then decide how (if is the right thing to do).

• What is the outcome we are trying to influence?
• In whose interest am I influencing it?
• What is our mindset? Is it the right one for the situation? Worth reading this previous post: Mindsets Matter.
• What is our physical, mental and emotional state as we enter into this? Are we in the grip, in a scarcity mindset, or are we at ease and able to see the whole picture?
• What do we hope to achieve, and how might we know?

The contents list from Carnegie’s book is set out below. As you will see, I have a few issues with it and have added and commented alongside.

It’s written with winning friends and influencing people in mind. It may be that we are seeking to influence organisations, government departments, parts of the system. But it’s worth remembering that organisations and groups are all made up of human beings. Individuals. And strong, trusted relationships are the building blocks of any change we might seek.

On reflection, a bit of Carnegie, coupled with a healthy dose of Jim Collins, Nancy Kline and Brene Brown’s listening, questions and leadership might serve us for a future that requires situational, relational and positive ways of building trust, understanding and creating positive change together.

The GM Moving Pointers for Leadership Practice (have a scroll in the slideshow below) the GreaterSport values and behaviours are also a good guide to hold on to.

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And in case it helps, here are Dale Carnegie’s principles. Comments in itallics are mine, as are the bits in bold, which I think are important.

See what you think and how it applies to your approach.

Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain – and not in public or on social media. Offer honest, constructive feedback, usually in private.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part 2: Six Ways to Make People ‘Like’ You; when you read ‘like’ perhaps consider ‘want to collaborate and work with you’?

1. Become genuinely interested in other people
2. Smile- sincerely, but not if you don’t really mean it.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language- Be really careful. People who bookend every sentence with my name can seem false/contrived.
4. Be a good listener- read everything Nancy Kline has to say about this!
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
6. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely; make the other person important and equal.

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it (this doesn’t mean avoid conflict situations. Here’s my favourite guide to conflict transformation that doesn’t need to involve arguments.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.” That doesn’t mean you can’t hold a different perspective and share it, and invite other different perspectives.
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Agree.
4. Begin in a friendly way. Is there any other way?!
5. Get the other person saying, “yes, yes” immediately. Not sure about this one, personally. It takes time to reach mutual understanding. Yes, yes, can be about the weather or the cup of tea of course- ice breakers are key to building relationships. See Gareth’s great contribution, in the comments below.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Because you are genuinely interested in what they have to say. Ask good questions. Then ask more.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. I really don’t like this phraseology.. I prefer Nancy Kline’s approach – know that people have the best ideas. Help them to surface their best thinking by asking really good questions and listening well.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. I don’t like this. ‘Sympathetic’ feels superficial. People have great ideas. Diversity of thought is crucial. Ask and listen. Seek to understand. See Nancy Kline points above.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives. This comes back to the Mindsets Matter blog- are we influencing for individual, organisational or societal gain? Can we be explicit and open about our drivers?
11. Dramatize your ideas. Not sure what this really means! Perhaps it’s about making them visual and tangible. “Imagine a world where….”. Make them real, tangible, easy to engage with and relate to. Appeal to the head, heart and hands and design the ideas together. Always coproduction. People own what they create.
12. Throw down a challenge. Not sure about a challenge, but what I do like is when people ask me questions that help me to remove my perceived mental barriers eg- if anything were possible here, what might happen… or imagine a world where…..what might that take.. what might the positive opposite of that scenario be, if anything were possible?

Part 4: Be a Leader—How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Rousing Resentment

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. Not sure about this sometimes a neat, short, honest and direct bit of feedback is better. Privately? Yes. But directly can be best.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Absolutely.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face. Links to giving negative feedback, whenever possible, in private and never on social media.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. Would replace ‘the thing you suggest’ with ‘the right thing’.

Most of these principles, if modified and modernised, could translate into our individual and collective approaches in influencing. I hope that capturing them here and sharing them in this context can provide something useful to come back to easily.

How will we know if we are making a positive difference?

A lot of the time it’s hard to know whether anything we did or said to influence things has resulted in the changes we see. Sometimes the things we did or said are misunderstood, misinterpreted or misrepresented.

The vast majority of the time decisions, changes and the direction of travel is influenced by a highly complex set of interactions. So we may never know, unless we get direct feedback or have ‘evidence’ that demonstrates our role in something.

Much of the time, the drivers of change are invisible. We have to get comfortable with that when working in complexity, and we need to be comfortable with it when we work in influencing roles.

Much of our our work is invisible and it’s usually best if we don’t try to take personal or organisational credit for the changes people make. The credit lies with them and it it’s not important for us to be recognised or credited for our leadership or support role, if the outcome is the right one and we know the part we’ve played.

If we really want to know how our approaches are perceived by others and whether our influencing strategies are helping or hindering change. There’s one sure fire way to find out.

Ask. Ask people from different places and perspectives. Get really good 360 feedback from people we trust and whose perspectives matter to us and the world. And really listen. Be genuinely open to hearing the answer to the question.

Be prepared to change. If that’s what we hear we need to do.

How does all this translate or relate to your work and world?

I’d welcome your input, challenge and feedback, and will capture it below to grow the conversation.

Comments, ideas and feedback so far…

“I’m always challenging myself on where ‘influencing’ comes in to play with mindsets. I’m always battling myself here, challenging myself to ‘not’ always come to the table as an influencer but to draw influence form others” (Gareth Dix)

On the ‘yes, yes’ point that I didn’t like, above:

“the greatest ‘yes’ is when you reflectively summarise what you think a colleague has said and they say ‘yes’ in a way that they’ve feel they’ve been really listened to. That’s rewarding”. (Gareth Dix)